Wednesday, February 12, 2014

RIP Lava Sauce



Dear Lava Sauce,

It isn't until we've lost something we love that we realize how much flavor it added to our life—an essence that made every experience more delicious.

You were that for me, Lava Sauce.

When I was younger and not yet a man, I would snicker at the gentleman in the A1 Steak Sauce commercials. Here was a man unabashed about his love for the boost that that condiment he loved so much gave every steak, every time. A man so in touch with his emotions he could pinpoint the precise location he felt such a sensory gift to his taste buds, "It hits ya here—it hits ya right here."

Yeah. Lava Sauce, forgive me for acting aloof to Taco Bell employees when I would ask if they still had "that sauce that came on the Volcano taco." I knew your name. I should have been more confident in my profession of it.

Lava Sauce! That red shell was just cosmesis. Those of us who really got you knew we could have you on top of any item on the menu. There was an intimacy and excitement to ordering you when other patrons didn't know you existed. Your mystery fed into your seduction.

What was IN you? Will we ever know? Or, like a past-lover, now moved on, must we find you only in the fragmented perception of our past? A flavor always right on the tip of the tongue and yet galaxies away. A fire light still traveling in our minds from a star long since passed.

Your warm embrace always made a luke warm meal in an ice cold parking lot something worth getting away with. Like masturbation, you were a pleasure hidden behind tinted windows and closed doors. A fascination mom could never approve of.

You were the reason to grow a beard fuller, so your scent might linger longer—your taste there deep into the next morning.

Lava Sauce, the loss of you is the loss of a hero. The loss of the courage to order an extra taco "for later." A reopening of a void so long filled with your unbounded flavor.

You will be missed, Lava Sauce. And you will never be matched. May your memory live far longer than the fire they so abruptly snuffed out.

RIP.


—Jon Ray, Austin, TX


P.S. Dear Taco Bell executives: Please put Lava Sauce back on the menu. I'm unable to return to your establishment until there is a condiment resurrection. It's just too painful otherwise.


Tell Taco Bell You Want Lava Sauce Back: http://www.tacobell.com/portal/site/tacobell/account/template.CONTACT_US

For Twitter Lava Sauce News: https://twitter.com/VivaLaLAVAsauce